The Right Place:
3. 99 Bottles

On a day hot enough to make the Devil cuss
I walked into a bar so thirsty I was spittin' dust
Barkeep asked me what'll it be?
I said whatcha got? He said well let's see

we got Lone star, PBR, Rolling Rock, Shiner Bock M
oose Drool, O'Doul's, Hefeweizen, Ziegenbock,
Keystone, Coors Light, 'course we got Red Stripe
Amstel, Amsterdam in the tall can,
Michelob, Miller Light, Guiness by the pint glass
Doppelbock Lager, take a swaller 'cause it's goin' fast
Oatmeal stout and a lot of Leinenkugel's
Open up your wallet, no time to be frugal

There's 99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around
98 bottles of beer on the wall

Well needless to say I was pretty impressed
As he handed me an ice cold beer from a chest
I said, Not bad for a hole in the wall
Barkeep grinned, said That ain't all,
we got Rio Grande, River Rock, Tecate with a twist top
Dos Perros, Dos Equis, Foster if you're Aussie
Bud Light in the new Zane Williams coozie
A dozen wheat beers on tap if you're choosy,
got Heineken, Killian's, Labatt's and Beck's
Ice cold na with the limes in the necks
Yuengling chilling with the Old Milwaukee's best
Sam Adams and that ain't even half of the rest

Of them 98 bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around
97 bottles of beer on the wall

Well I settled down with my favorite brew
I ordered me another and before I knew
It was 2 AM and I was under a table
Bein' choked by a dude that smelled like a stable
And finally I was able to throw him through the screen door
Pick up my hat off the hardwood floor
Get on back to the barkeep's daughter
who was Puttin' "Pop a Top" on the jukebox,
dancin' non-stop And sippin' on a beer that I bought her
We were drinkin' it like it was water
There were cowgirls everywhere wearin' their
Pretty hair down to their derriere and there were

2 more bottles of beer on the wall
2 more bottles of beer
Took one down and passed it around
1 more bottle of beer on the wall
1 more bottle of beer on the wall
1 more bottle of beer
We raised it up high and drained it dry
and there were no more bottles of beer on the wall

So we started on the Cuervo, Bacardi Gold, margaritas, straight tequila
Jim Beam, George Dickel, then we wet our whistle with a
Single malt scotch, peach schnapps in a jello shot
Captain Morgan, pour some more of them
Cider Sliders, Flyin' Tigers Dr. Pepper for the designated drivers
Everclear, Absolut and Amaretto
I don't remember much but I never will forget those
99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer

There ain't nothin' finer than an ice-cold Shiner
and 99 bottles of beer on the wall